Limberger PSA - A Warning

I love cheese. Not just in the cultural sense, but in the edible sense. I love to try cheeses I've never had before.

One day, about a year ago, a friendly clerk at the grocery store had samples of Limberger.
I've seen enough cartoon Limberger gags to know that it was probably fairly potent stuff, so I tricked myself into disbelieving Tom & Jerry. I convinced myself that it couldn't be so bad, and that I shouldn't allow cartoons to deprive me of a life experience. As it turned out the cartoons were right.
I was Wile E. Coyote ordering another fine ACME product. My palate paid the price, falling to it's apparent death. And, just like Wile E. Coyote, as my taste buds begin to rise from the impact crater, a boulder of Limberger memory comes crashing down to ruin a good day and add insult to the "injury". The cartoons were right! I'm sure you'd rather not imprint your face in a frying pan; so too, you do not want to try Limberger cheese.

When it comes to Limberger, I can't stress this enough, DO NOT EAT IT. DO NOT EVEN TASTE IT. I mean that with all my being. It's not a warning, not merely a request, but a Commandment.

Limberger tastes like the combined scents of month old used cat litter, on a plate of fresh bird droppings, with a severed decaying hobo foot for garnish.

Limberger will not kill you, but it will haunt your tastebuds for eternity, really. NEVER, EVER PUT LIMBERGER CHEESE ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR MOUTH. And if anyone else tries to tell you it's not all that bad, make them eat it first. They won't. You'll know them for a liar, and you have a duty to punch them square in the face.

Limberger really is that bad. FACTS: This is not a matter of personal taste. Limberger cheese is not an acquired taste, like oysters or caviar. It's not a flavor that you will grow to appreciate. I believe Limberger cheese exists only to create a market for gourmet dog poop!

People get struck by lightning and live, but there ain't a'one of them that'll suggest you try getting struck by lightning for yourself. Limberger is just like that.

Limberger is the worst thing I've ever experienced that didn't cause me any physical harm, but the random phantom-smells and taste memory of the experience is still with me over a year later. I have Limberger PTSD!

If you feed a prisoner Limberger cheese, their lawyer will probably get them freed on grounds of cruel and unusual punishment.

Limberger is really that bad. Like a cobra snake bite, just believe Limberger is bad. Don't find out for yourself.

Thank You

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